Target Mom

You know you have become a bit of a stereotype when…

ONE: You get mad at Target for not opening until 8 when your kids have been up since 6 and you know trying some new makeup will be a great way to start the day.

TWO: You get mad at the mall for not opening their free kids play area until 10. You tell your kids to sit still for 20 minutes so you can go into “beauty isle coma” and then your toddler’s little heart is crushed when you have to go back to you car after only being able to gimps the play area.

But anyway, back to target, I don’t know what Target does to make itself so alluring but it’s like catnip for housewives.  It’s weird.  And ingenious.

Are your kids sleeping too long?

Do you hate it when your kids take long naps?  Do you wish for all the silence and productivity to stop so you can go back to changing diapers and picking the kids lunches off the floor.  Then you need to read my 5 magic ways to make your kids wake up!

  1. Jump in the shower
  2. Start a project that is very messy or dangerous
  3. Make a cup of tea and sit down with a magazine (just kidding, the magazine and the tea are not important…just try sitting down and taking a deep breath)
  4. Do a lot of cleaning and then try to reward yourself for your hard work by sitting down at the computer to watch a few blissful minutes of Netflix.
  5. Schedule a package to be delivered.  Every dog in the neighborhood will aid you in your quest to stop the sleeping madness.

On the other hand, if you want the kids to take an abnormally long nap, schedule a fun activity that you really want to attend.  This will make it so the kids will sleep in later than normal, take a late nap and then will (for no reason) sleep an extra long time.  This gives you very powerful options as a mom. OPTION ONE: wake up your kids, feel bad about it, and deal with their sleepy rage or OPTION TWO: show up late or not at all to your fun activity.